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Friday, October 20, 2006
A Human Resource Manager's dilemma
A highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically knocked down by a bus and killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her:
"Before you get settled in," he said, "We have alittle problem...you see, we've never had a Human Resources Manager make it this far before and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"Oh, I see," said the woman. "Can't you just let me in?"
"Well, I'd like to," said St Peter, "But I have higher orders. We' re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you'd like to go for all eternity."
"Actually, I think I'd prefer heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." at which St. Peter put the HR Manager into the downward bound elevator.
As the doors opened in hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course.
In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends - past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.
They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the Country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil, who was actually rather nice, and she had a Wonderful night telling jokes and dancing. Before she knew it, it was time to leave; everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped intothe elevator.
The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing, which was almost as enjoyable as her day in hell.
At the day's end St Peter returned. "So," he said, "You've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. You must choose between the two."
The woman thought for a second and replied, "Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose hell."
Accordingly, St.Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in adesolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks.
The Devil approached and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stuttered the HR Manager, "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club, and we ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happytime. Now there's just a dirty wasteland of garbage and All my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled.

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff."
posted by bourbouli @ 3:24 PM   1 LauGhs

Thursday, October 19, 2006
Husband's revenge
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL!
Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY!
Turn them!TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful...
... CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?

Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.

You know you always forget to salt them.

Use the salt. USE THE SALT!

T H E S A L T!"


The wife stared at him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied,
"I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I am driving with you in the car."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Similar insident reported here as well : http://ouchmytoe.com

and
Andy's Space @ MySpace
posted by bourbouli @ 1:05 PM   0 LauGhs

Butt Surgerry
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty.
She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!

All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything
you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," he replied,
"I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek!"
posted by bourbouli @ 1:07 AM   0 LauGhs


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