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ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

Actual newspaper headlines found in the daily press.

• Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says
• Iraqi head seeks arms
• Stud tires out
• Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
• Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
• British left waffles on Falkland Islands
• Eye drops off shelf
• Teacher strikes idle kids
• Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
• Squad helps dog bite victim
• Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66
• Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
• Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
• Miners refuse to work after death
• Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
• Stolen painting found by tree
• Two soviet ships collide, one dies
• 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
• Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
• Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
• Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
• War dims hope for peace
• If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
• Cold wave linked to temperatures

Henry Ford VS Von Neumann

Henry Ford had ordered a dynamo for one of his plants. The dynamo didn't work, and not even the manufacturers could figure out why. A Ford employee told his boss that Von Neumann was "the smartest man in America," so Ford called Von Neumann and asked him to come out and take a look at the dynamo.

Von Neumann came, looked at the schematics, walked around the dynamo,
then took out a pencil.
He marked a line on the outside casing and said, "If you'll go in an cut the coil here, the dynamo will work fine."

They cut the coil, and the dynamo did work fine.

Ford then told Von Neumann to send him a bill for the work. Von Neumann sent Ford a bill for $5,000.
Ford was astounded -- $5,000 was a lot in the 1950s -- and asked Von Neumann for an itemized account.

Here's what he submitted:

Drawing a line with the pencil: $ 1
Knowing where to draw the line with the pencil: $4,999

Ford paid the bill.