The politician and the top model

An important politician was seen moving around with a beautiful woman - a famous top model - for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony.

He didnt want to expose himself to public and gossip papers so he assigned his trustworthy bodyguard with a top secret mission:
To hire on his behalf, a private detective, so that he can gather info regarding the top model's past, if she had any previous affairs with any men and for how long.

After a few days, the security officer came to the politician's office with the detective's report, which had the results of the investigation:

"Sir,
this lady has a spotless reputation.

Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background.

No one has anything against her.

But i would also like to inform you that according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician who's reputation is known to be dubious!"

Missile balloon car prank

Could you imagine that a couple of balloons could cause havoc?

Happy Women's day

Happy Women's day girls :)

Trying to discover the funny part of it, here are some funny quotes for you blonde ladies:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says
- "'Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says"
-"'Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says:
"'You dummy, it's me!"

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A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says:
"Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says:
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
The blonde replies:
"Oh, that's easy: W."

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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned:
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."

Definitions of designations in an IT department

• Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month
• Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
• Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
• Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
• Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
• Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
• Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the process to produce a baby
• Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
• Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
• Cracker is the person who cracks the process and manages to produce a baby from just the DNA of the man
• Hacker is the person who reverse engineers the process of making babies and then posts it freely in the network for the people to know.
  

Lost - the supermarket edition

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked:
- "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
- "Why?" said the beautiful woman
to which the man replied:
- "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."