A philologist is giving a lecture where after a long speech he ends saying:
- There are many languages in the world where two negatives make an affirmative. There are also many languages in the world where two negatives make a negative. But, there aren't any languages in the workd where two affirmatives make a negative!

....and a voice from the back of the audience :

-Yeah, right!

One of the funniest commercials i have ever seen

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB!!

Put about 100 bricks in no particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyse the situation.
If they are counting the bricks : Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them : Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks : Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strangeorder : Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other : Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping : Put them in reception
If they have broken the bricks into pieces : Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle : Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved : Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day : Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window : Put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved :
..........Congratulate them and put them in top management!

Teachers these days...

A teacher in junior school somewhere... asked the children what was the occupation of their parents

Teacher: George, how old are you?
George : i am 7 years old, miss
Teacher: ..and what is the occupation of your father?
George : he is a dentist, miss
Teacher: ... and what is the occupation of your mother?
George : She is a lawyer, miss
Teacher: Excellent, George.

Teacher kept asking the children, when it was the time for little Susan to answer her teacher's question.
Susan looked a little scaried.

Teacher: And you little Susan
Susan : Yes miss
Teacher: What is the occupation of your father?
Susan : well...
Teacher: ?
Susan : ..he.. he.. he is..
Teacher: ???
Susan : He is working in the post office, delivering mail..
Teacher: Come on Susan, we must be proud of our parent's job. You there little Nick, what's your father's occupation?

Nick stood up, full of pride and replied :
- My father is a pianist in a brothel, miss

Teacher's eyes "poped out"! She turned red and told the children that they were dismissed.

Later in the afternoon, she decided to go to the child's parents and talk with them about this incident!

She knocked the door.

Little Nick's father answered.

The teacher took a deep breath and talked :
Teacher : Hello i am Miss Green, your son's teacher. I am sorry to bother you but i have a small problem with your son Nick. Earlier today, in the classroom when i asked the children what was their parent's occupation, your son PROUDLY replied that you work as a pianist in a brothel. What do you have to say about this????

Nick's Father : Well Miss Green, here's how it goes: I am a software engineer on Object oriented languages like C#, .Net, Java. I develop applications for the web using PHP and Unix and i am a database administrator in our Production System that uses Oracle Database 10g. I work with ABAP and Corba as well and i do reports in Business Objects for a company that is, well, preposterous.

Teacher : So?

Nick's Father : So, how do you explain that to a 7 years old kid???