Thursday, April 19, 2007

No game kid

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
- "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left."
- "None", replied Johnny, "'cause the rest would fly away".
- "Well the answer is four", said the teacher, "but I like the way you are thinking".

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?"
- "Well..." said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
- "No", said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking".

Why did the chicken...errr


- Why did the Gum cross the road??
- Because it was stuck to the chicken!!!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Books you will never find in a book store

You will never find these books in a book store (either used or new :-p)

- 124 Simple Exercises For the Teeth
- A Complete List Of All the Things That Are Still Pending
- A Hundred Dead People Nobody Misses
- A List Of People Who Mean Well
- A Treasury Of Poorly Understood Ideas
- Backpacking For Shut-ins
- Caring For the Seated
- Controlling Fear Without Getting Frightened
- Cooking With Heat
- Don't Throw Away Your Old Skin
- Eat, Run, Stay Fit, and Die Anyway
- Famous Bullcrap Stories
- Famous People Who Were Wiry
- Fill Your Life With Croutons
- How To Become a Grease Ball
- How To Do Everything At Once
- How To Filet a Panda
- How To Get a Tan With a Flashlight
- How To Get Back From Boston
- How To Give a King a Really Hard Time
- How To Give People Your Best Regards
- How To Give Yourself a Complete Physical Without Getting Undressed
- How To Kill a Rat With an Oboe
- How To Lease Out the Space Inside Your Nose
- How To Organize a Tupperware Gang-Bang
- How To Seem Intelligent
- How To Spoil Other People's Fun
- How To Spot a Creep From a Distance
- How To Spot Truly Vicious People in Church
- How To Start a Range War
- How To Turn Unbearable Pain Into Extra Income
- How To Wave Good-bye Without Moving Your Arms
- I Gave Up Hope and Died and It Worked
- I Suck You Suck
- Let's Change the Alphabet
- Marriage For One
- My Dog Is a Real Fruit
- Peace Of Mind By Losing Complete Control For Sixteen Hours a Day
- Poems For the Insane
- Re-organizing Your Pockets
- Rid Yourself Of Doubt--Or Should You?
- Self Mutilation as an attention getter
- Six Cities No One Has Ever Been To
- Six Ways To "do" it before breakfast
- Sixty-four Good Reasons For Giving Up Hope
- Sport Fishing With Power Saws
- Ten Things We Don't Know Yet
- The Complete List Of Everyone's Personal Affects
- The Food Coloring Diet
- The Intravenous Cookbook
- The Meaning Of Corn
- The Stains In Your Shorts Can Indicate Your Future
- The Wrong Underwear Can Kill
- There's Big Money In Staying Put
- Things No One Can Help
- Tremble Your Way To Fitness
- Trotting Across Zaire
- Understanding People You'll Never Meet
- What To Wear On the Toilet
- Why Hawaii and Norway Are Not Near Each Other
- Why It Doesn't Snow Anymore
- Why Jews Point
- You Give Me Six Weeks and I'll Give You Some Disease
- Your old Shoes Are Worth Money
- Your Thighs Control Your Life