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Anecdote: My blonde little sister

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the
traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the
stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and
re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and
proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she
reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep.................SHE'S BLONDE!

The college teacher and the final exams

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam:
- "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family but that's it! NO other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smarty student in the back of the room, raised his hand and asks:
- "What would you say if tomorrow i said i was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does their best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,
shakes her head, and sweetly says:
- "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

The rude parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to do to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly, there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

 

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched hand and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

'May I ask, please, what the turkey did?'