Anecdote: My blonde little sister

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the
traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the
stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and
re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and
proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she
reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep.................SHE'S BLONDE!

The college teacher and the final exams

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam:
- "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family but that's it! NO other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smarty student in the back of the room, raised his hand and asks:
- "What would you say if tomorrow i said i was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does their best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,
shakes her head, and sweetly says:
- "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

The rude parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to do to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly, there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

 

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched hand and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

'May I ask, please, what the turkey did?'

Anecdote: The persistant beggar

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money.
The man ignored him.
But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him.
The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.
He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you."
"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea".
He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.
Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man.
But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you?".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like." 

 

Treasury Department has issued a new dollar bill

 

Kinetsu Hayabusa - a real Ninja

Kinetsu Hayabusa is the famous Ninja martial artist of the known clan of the FUN-NEE clan. Watch the following videos to understand what makes a ninja stealth from eyes.





Ninjutsu sometimes used interchangeably with the term ninpō, is the martial arts practiced by the shinobi (also commonly known (outside of Japan) as the ninja).
The main character nin is composed of two lesser characters, the upper meaning “blade”, the lower meaning “heart” or “spirit”. Together they mean “stealth” and “secretness,” as well as “endurance” and “perseverance”. Jutsu means “true”, “technique”. Pō meaning “knowledge”, “principle” when found with the prefix “nin” carries the meaning of ninja arts, higher order of ninjutsu. Although the popular view is that ninjutsu is the art of secrecy or stealth, actual practitioners consider it to mean the art of enduring - enduring all of life's hardships.
(Source: Wikipedia)

Escape from the house - adventure flash game

I was sent this flash quiz and i must admit that the author of it, did an absolutely terrific job. I strongly encourage you to email the author if you manage to solve this puzzle.

The purpose of this game is to find all objects that will assist you in getting out of the house. It requires some imagination and your strong attention in every detail. I loved it! And i solved it. If you feel frustrated, trying to solve it please leave a message and i will post the solution a.s.a.p.

I personally felt like Indiana Jones here. I loved the mystery and the background music.

Enjoy :)

Alexander Graham Bell telephony invention

Celebrating the Alexander Graham Bell's birthday (3 March 1847 – 2 August 1922), we dedicate the following jokes in his memory :

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."

---

One night, Jim and Betty were fast asleep when all of a sudden the phone rings. Jim wakens and goes to answer it. "How the heck should I know, that's a thousand miles away!!" he shouts out loud into the phone and then slams down the receiver.

"Who was that?" asks Betty.

"I have no idea, Lena, " answers Jim... "Somebody wanted to know if the coast is clear."

---

A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.

"I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?"

The company refused, so she said, "Fine. From now on, I'm going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full."

The company got a new number the next day.

---

Alexander Graham Bell thank you for your invention. If only you could live to see the dialup networks and the internet, the wifi, the satellites... you started the flame... may your soul rest in peace.

For the birds - short comic video by Pixar

I love Pixar. Each and every video from those guys is a masterpiece. I really am a fan of their creations and i cannot hide it.

So here it is. One of the best short comic videos i've ever seen.



I really enjoyed it. I promise you will too.

Funniest drowning prank on the web

This prank is one of the funniest i 've seen on t.v. The poor victims have gone crazy seeing the guy sinking in the water. I was a bit anxious to see what's going to happen and the video clip never showed what that sinking guy did underwater. It was a cool prank though.




One of the funniest around. Enjoy :)

January 1 TCP/IP celebration joke

The following joke is dedicated to the celebration of the birthday of internet in January 1, 1983. In the early 1970's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) gave birth to the Internet Protocol. In 1975, two TCP/IP communication tests were carried out between Stanford University and the University College of London (UCL). In November 1977, three network TCP/IP tests were conducted between the United States, United Kingdom and Norway. Between 1978 and 1983, several other TCP/IP prototypes have been developed at many research centers.
The total changeover to TCP/IP from the ARPANET was held on January 1, 1983
In memory of that day, we dedicate the following joke :

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell.
Billy's father answered the door.
The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's dad said, "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"