Get your Ex back with a cool joke

A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says :
"I bet $500 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play".

The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar.

The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the 500 bucks.

Next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo.

The guy hands over another 500 bucks to the octopus's owner.

The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few
moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and say's to the guy and his octopus :
"now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a 1000 dollars".

The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner comes up and says :
"What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing !"
The octopus says "Play it? If I can work out how to get it's pyjama's off i'm gonna ''sleep'' with it!!"

Bathroom remodeling never seen before

Now, who wants to use the bathroom?

Beware of the chocolate peanuts

A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.
- "Mind if I have a few" he asks.
-"No, not at all" the woman replied.
They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes
that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl.
-"I'm terribly sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really just meant to eat a few."
- "Oh thats all right" the woman says. "Ever since I lost my teeth all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them!"

Outer space zero gravity authors

During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National Aeronauticsand Space Administration (N.A.S.A.) decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth.

The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.