Michelin's Revolutionary Airless Tires

Michelin's introducing the next generation of tires that dont need to have an air tube.

Michelin Tweel is the upcoming king of tires:



Had the following students bought these tires for their vehicles, they wouldnt have gotten an F on their exams:

Down in Jackson, Mississippi, three boys arrived in school late.

It was as late as 10:00 a.m. They had been fishing.

For their excuse they stated that they were delayed because of a flat tire. The teacher decided to give them a test immediately, so she had them seated apart from one another.

She said, "This test will have only one question, and I will give you thirty seconds to put down your answer."

The question was, "Which tire?"

Do birds think?

I dont know if it's their instict that drives them or a certain flavor or even a hormone but if you ask me, i think they give the impression that they think.

Take a look at that dancing cockatoo:


take a look at that budgie:


a domesticated canary:


And if none of the above persuaded you, maybe this sparrow will convince you that birds have some sort of intelligence that could make them think.



And finally:





A little bird was flying south for the winter. It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As it lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out-and then ate him.

The morals of the story are:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

[joke found @ http://www.withfriendship.com/jokes/birds/bird-shit.php]

Ferrari VS Jet

It sounds funny if you think that a car could be faster than a eurofighter jet. Well at least at the first 400 meters.

Mikael Schumacher with a Ferrari formula 1, was leading the race running at the speed of 190mph but when the 40000 pounds of thrust decided to take action.

The Jet finished the race 2 tenths quicker than the Ferrari which took 13.2 secs to cover the distance of 900 meters.

	Weight	Length (meters)	Engine
Ferrari Formula 1	600 kilos	4.5	3 ltrs V12 by Ferrari
Eurofighter Jet	11 Tons	6	2 turbofan engines by Rolls Royce

Although i believe if the escargot from the following joke, was driving that F1, results would be different right now...

There was this snail who wanted to be a F1 racing driver.
He went along to the track and asked the team manager if he could drive.

The racing team manager said, 'Yes, but you can't have a number on your car, you can only have an 'S' because you are a snail.'

The Snail was OK about this is so he entered the race.

The race started and the snail's car was at the back...but suddenly he sped to the front, over-taking all the cars and won!!


As the spectators saw the Snail speed past them, they yelled
'WOW! LOOK AT THAT S-CAR GO!!'

Murphy's law or Real life everyday conclusions?

-=- Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


-=- To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.


-=- The road to success... is always under construction.


-=- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.


-=- In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.


-=- Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.


-=- Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.


-=- If at first you don't succeed... destroy all evidence that you ever tried.


-=- You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down,
it will always land on the buttered side.


-=- Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible
corner.


-=- As soon as you mention something... if it is good, it is taken. If it is
bad, it happens.


-=- He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.


-=- If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late... the bus is still
late.


-=- Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold
somewhere else at a cheaper rate.


-=- When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front
of you will always have the most complex of transactions.


-=- If you have paper, you don't have a pen... If you have a pen, you don't have
paper... if you have both, no one calls.


-=- The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.


-=- After a long wait for bus No.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in
together and the bus which you get in, will be more crowded than the other.


-=- If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.


-=- Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will
always tend to go to the non-smoker

X-Men movie actors owned!

Matrix Movie 4 - Reentered

Superhero movie - official trailer - Dragonfly

Sea drowning instructions

Well.. if you see someone drowning.. dont' lol as this sign says but call 911 immediately!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

via http://imgur.com/9C6Nx.jpg

U SMILE

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever."

A smart student in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

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A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of autoexpress.co.uk

Pi celebration day 3-14

π (also written pi) is a mathematical constant whose value is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space; this is the same value as the ratio of a circle's area to the square of its radius. (src: wikipedia)


Celebration day is set as March 14 (3-14 in rememberance of 3.14 )

One of the jokes that people use to tell about Pi:

Q: What does a mathematician with eye cataract have?
A: A pee eye (Pi)

Cakes are round, but Pi are square.

The politician and the top model

An important politician was seen moving around with a beautiful woman - a famous top model - for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony.

He didnt want to expose himself to public and gossip papers so he assigned his trustworthy bodyguard with a top secret mission:
To hire on his behalf, a private detective, so that he can gather info regarding the top model's past, if she had any previous affairs with any men and for how long.

After a few days, the security officer came to the politician's office with the detective's report, which had the results of the investigation:

"Sir,
this lady has a spotless reputation.

Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background.

No one has anything against her.

But i would also like to inform you that according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician who's reputation is known to be dubious!"

Missile balloon car prank

Could you imagine that a couple of balloons could cause havoc?

Happy Women's day

Happy Women's day girls :)

Trying to discover the funny part of it, here are some funny quotes for you blonde ladies:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says
- "'Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says"
-"'Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says:
"'You dummy, it's me!"

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says:
"Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says:
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
The blonde replies:
"Oh, that's easy: W."

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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned:
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."

Definitions of designations in an IT department

• Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month
• Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
• Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
• Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
• Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
• Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
• Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the process to produce a baby
• Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
• Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
• Cracker is the person who cracks the process and manages to produce a baby from just the DNA of the man
• Hacker is the person who reverse engineers the process of making babies and then posts it freely in the network for the people to know.
  

Lost - the supermarket edition

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked:
- "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
- "Why?" said the beautiful woman
to which the man replied:
- "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

Loch Ness monster attacks with humor

- What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?
- Long time no sea.

- What do you get if you mix a fashion designer with a sea monster?
- The Loch Dress Monster.

- Which is the unluckiest monster in the world?
- The Luck Less Monster

- What do you get if you mix the Loch Ness Monster with a shark?
- Loch Jaws

Newly developed cloaking device - experiment gone wrong

An experiment took place two days ago in Nevada desert.
Scientists tested a new cloaking device and although the test was successfull, something went wrong.

The tests were performed on an ex-football player who's name wasn't announced. Investigation showed that the ex-player left the labs with the cloaking device and grabbed the chance to score in a football match, while the machine operated.

The goal was caught on video:

Antonio Lucio Vivaldi - Violin funny quotes

Antonio Lucio Vivaldi (March 4, 1678 – July 28, 1741)
In memory of this great composer we dedicate the following Violin funny quotes:


- How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. They can't get up that high!

- What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
- There is no actual difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.


- What's the main differences between a fiddle and a violin?
a. No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle
b. A fiddle is fun to listen to.


The judge to the defendant:
- "You look familiar...haven't I seen your face before?"
The defendand:
- "Yes you have, your Honor; i gave your son violin lessons a year ago!"
..and the judge
- "Ah, Yes!...... 10 years!!!"

A couple on their second honeymoon

A couple, married forty years, were revisiting the same places they went to, on their honeymoon.
Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road.

The woman said,
"Sweetheart, let''s do the same thing we did here on our honeymoon, forty years ago."

The husband stopped the car.
His wife backed against the fence and they made love like never before.

Back in the car, the husband says,
"Darling, you sure never moved like that, forty years ago - or any time since that I can remember!"

The woman says, "Love, forty years ago that fence wasn''t ElectriFied!!"

Amazing baseball pitch never seen before

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson on a camping trip

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
- "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied,
- "I see millions and millions of stars."
- "What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
- "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?".
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke...
"Watson, you idiot!!. Someone has stolen our tent!"